Well, I think you've captured several different topics in this one thread, but here goes:
One of the reasons I have not participated in any of those "touching him while he's sleeping" threads is precisely what you said above: when you have sexual contact with any person, without that person's permission, that's somewhere between sexual assault and rape. I do not condone that, and I'm pretty outspoken about calling it sexual assault.
Another issue is summed up in a thread entitled something like "my straight friend pretends to sleep while I suck his cock." In this case, it isn't sexual assault, but consensual sex under false pretenses, and I actually think that's worse than the sexual assault. If he has so much self-loathing that he can't admit he's bisexual, then he shouldn't have sex with men at all. It helps to perpetuate oppression of gay men and women.
Likewise with the "I only did it because I was drunk" excuse. It's just that - an excuse, and a bad one, at that. It's like saying, "queers are disgusting, and I would never do that sober, only if I'm not in control of myself."
If people would be more honest about sexuality, this wouldn't even be an issue. It's a lot like the women who say "no" when they really mean "yes," so that they appear to be "good girls," and then wonder why men are never really sure when "no" means "no," and when "no" means "yes."
I'm not sure why "honest and unashamed" is such a difficulty for so many people. |