Answering New End also - I agree with Guy, she's not fulfilling the fantasy, she's participating in it - but it is still a fantasy because there is no actual gagging / choking / forced anal going on.

Also - for some people those kind of acts would not seem loving. Now I know there are loving relationships where the sex can be like that but I also know from talking to a former prostitute that the things a pro does with her (or his) clients are not 'sex' for the prostitute... and they certainly aren't love making. The woman I knew said she disassociated strongly when performing acts on her clients - she didn't consider is 'sex'. It was all just an act for her. When she was with a man she wanted to be with having what she called 'real sex' it was a completely different experience for her.

Also - on the point of auto-erotic asphyxia - I don't believe that it is necessary to be disturbed or have issues to get off on being choked during sex. Auto-erotic asphyxia is more to do with the sensation of nearly passing out being a buzz that enhances orgasm. It is well known that kids play with asphyxia (called the 'scarf game' here in France and the 'choking game' in English, I think) where they take themselves to the point of blacking out through strangualtion for the high it gives. That's non-sexual - auto-erotic asphyxia adds orgasm to that high. It is a physical thing. It's not about being choked by someone - it's about the sensations the choking produces. I've played with it a little myself but didn't find it SO pleasurable that I wanted to risk actual suffocation.