Originally Posted by ChockoKittie

I think for some Vonetta Flowers would be a total stop reading and google moment.. hell, I did it. :)

Maybe if it were someone like, a famous ball player the friend was sketching and then your main character lingered over it a minute? Telling the friend how good the drawing was, but privately admiring how attractive the athlete was?

I like the mix of characters, but their introduction and development could use more imagery or other literary devices. Tennessee Williams does this so well - introduces a character by basically giving away a hint to their future actions. Like Tom in Glass Menagerie, his first sentence is "I've got tricks in my pocket and things up my sleeve", or something like that, but Williams is basically signaling that Tom is up to something - a kind of wink to his final move.

You can also draw a connection between one character and a famous person ("this brother had lips sweeter than LL" or something). Also, no need to hold back so much with the main character being gay. Even though it is a realization he comes to later, certainly he'll have a lot of moments where he catches himself looking at friends or other men's bodies in a sexual manner.

Like the shorts moment was good! Or when his friend was straddling his lap, in his mind he could struggle with wanting to touch him.

I look forward to reading more!