Mawg,
Ever think about growing dreadlocks, moving down to Jamaica, becoming a rastafarian, and musing in reggae on the side, all the while being high all the time? At least then your addiction would be sustainable... even valued. And it wouldn’t be a negative life sucking vice but rather a vehicle for your spirituality.
Then of course you live in North America...
I suspect that this thread is a cry for an answer much more deeper than you attending AA meetings and wanting us to comment on whether it’s a good thing or not and if god exists somewhere.
I suspect it has a lot to do with where your life ended up and not knowing where to go to fix it. I don’t think it’s about using pot everyday. That’s just a manifestation. I don’t think pot use is necessarily a bad thing but if the escape has become your reality and your real life is a nightmare then there is a problem because it just ain’t sustainable.
I also suspect you know what you really need to do but don’t have much faith that the future is gonna turn out OK so you are seeking answers, reassurance.
That’s probably where this higher power spiritual god thing is necessary part of AA - blind faith. Because if you don’t have any faith that you will get better and things will turn out fine...why bother? Why invest so much of your time and give up your pleasure to something that will fail? I think it is safe to assume that every great achievement you’ve made- faith was a prerequisite, a required mindset that made everything possible. Where did that go?
A support group is a good thing as they give you perspective on reality- as your mind tends to distort your self perception and the world around you and make it difficult to see things for what they really are. It’s hard to see the world without distortions and delusions because it it always twisted to fit your ego. Meditation helped me but that’s another thread.
Although I’ve never been to an AA meeting I imagine they offer good support in place of a network of friends but I would be wary if the conversation and discussion is ONLY about addiction abuse simply because you are more than your “addictions” and what you really need are friends. really close soul bound friends. Friends that will be there for you regardless if you are a pot addict or not and friends who value your friendship who get as much knowing you as you them. Friends where you can just be the flawed person you are and have it be OK. Friends who will lend a supportive ear and tell you that you are full of shit and friends that respect you and you them. Friends, together that you can laugh off the drudges of living and make the unbearable bearable.
You build a life...it does not magically happen. I suppose you need to start building yours - same goes with friends. Big hug to you Mawg. You lured me out of the woodwork here. lol. You’re a pretty smart guy...isn’t it about time you figured what you want out of life? What kind of man you need to be?
Earl |