Where do you hang out and who are you meeting? I've had lots of sex around the world and have never ever had anyone say something negative to me about wearing a condom when fucking. You wear them to protect yourself and others, I don't even see it as an option, you do it. However, if you're in a committed, monogamous relationship where trust and respect for each other's lives has been established and you've been tested, you can make rational choices about not using condoms anymore. Otherwise, if guys don't wear condoms I presume they are either HIV poz or want to be. So having anal sex can be done quite safely. There is no need to exaggerate the risks for unprotected anal sex among monogamous committed couples.