AA has helped many people. However, when a friend joined up because she was drinking heavily she brought up the same issue about "giving one's self up to a higher power." I've never had to deal with issues of addiction (well, maybe sex, but I've always regarded that as a positive part of my life). But the idea of giving one's self up to a higher power, to me, smacks of infantilism and the inability to take responsibility for one's own actions.

On a positive note, for those out there who are seeking AA help I have heard there are chapters where like-minded folk gather who don't buy into any religion or imaginary friends. I would suggest you ask around. The idea that one cannot skip onto the road to recovery unless he or she gives up rational thinking and submits to becoming a sunbeam for Jesus is simply plain hokum.

Check around. Being a "friend of Bill" has helped countless people, but there are other means to the same end to which AA aspires; for example, generic transcendental meditation.

By the way, good luck with wrestling control of your life.