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Originally Posted by dannymawg  I'm really hoping that I can pull some longtime, salient LPSG members out of the shadows to discuss this thread, and not have it degenerate into silliness or empty comment. I'd like to gather some of the third party objectivism(?) that I used to see floating around here when I first joined in '06.
I went to the meeting last night at 7:30 pm, participated, and came home with the "Big Book", which I read in bed until 5:30 am today. And here is the crux of my problem:
Spirituality. Supposedly, I cannot make the decision that God exists or not - that the billions of Christians who get along with having a God infinitely outnumber me, and that I must believe in a higher power in order for the 12 steps to work.
But isn't this about me? That only I have the power to control myself? To look squarely at my addictions, choices, decisions, and realize no one has done anything about this or put me in this place other than me? Yeah, selfish, I know, it flies in the face of the unselfishness that has made AA so successful in people's lives...
I obviously have some deep thinking to do - and this might be my swansong from LPSG, as I feel I have to disconnect myself from all the time-sinks that I associated with my use of the sweet leaf - music is included, which is really fucking scary, as it's one of the few outlets I have anymore.
Thanks in advance for your posts, and if anyone out there has any AA or other experience they feel comfortable sharing, please - do so. I'm attending another meeting tonight, and looking forward to reading/answering replies over the weekend.
D-mawg |
I discussed this at length with my partner of the moment who is an admitted alcoholic and has spent a lot of time in AA. Here's where it went-
He indicated that the whole God thing is essentially whittled down to just finding an ability within of understanding/believing that something created the universe and what is in it. He took it further by using reference to the ocean. Think of the power of the ocean and how it works and then ask if it is something which you have control over. Since the answer tends to be a resounding no, then that shows there is something other than me which is apparently-at least in ocean current-more powerful which he says is what the bottom line is with AA- a power greater than self. Call it God, call it Allah, call it Bennet. I have been to open AA meetings (those where non alkies, non drug addicts are welcome to attend as opposed to Closed meetings) and have heard people claim a tree or a doorknob as their higher power.
AA becomes confusing on the spiritual side since meetings tend to have either The Lord's Prayer or The Serenity Prayer involved in them which screams religion. There is a difference though between religion and spirituality. Religion (to me) is doctrines and hoo-ha all focussed on what was written in The Bible which is a book which has changed numerous times over the centuries. Many parts of The Bible were written long after events took place-this is religion. Stuff based on stories passed down generation to generation before many of them made it to written form. And about that written form-which form? King James? Revised Standard? New English? New American?
Spirituality is a harder thing-it is an inner feeling, sensation or belief that something created something else which led to my being and then my being inside the body which I currently inhabit. Spitiruality (again, I speak for me) involves interaction with other beings. Learning how to feel. How to feel comfortable within the body and within the suroundings in which I have been placed.
AA is just one of many recovery options out there. Some thrive in AA and its offshoots such as NA and CA (cocaine) and SA (sex addicts anon) and there's something out there in some places for Crystal Meth users (cma). There are also recovery practices not based on 12 steps, 12 traditions and 12 principles. What the majority have in common is a genuine desire to get away from the substance or activity which has become all consuming for one's life. Some do this through sheer will power. Some stand by the idea of Moderation. Moderation is the limitting of drinks and/or drugs and/or sex or anything else which is excessive. Many fail in moderation therapy because one drink leads to yet another. The AA comment is "The first drink gets you drunk" because one leads to another, then another, then another until a person is completely drunk; but, it all began with the first drink. Many cannot stop at just one or two, for these, moderation is not the answer.
Moving along. My partner has been addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex and the internet. He has gotten away from the alcohol and drugs and I am his sex fix (and he is mine as well). He has used moderation on the Internet.
There are different forms of AA meetings from rigid, big-book thumping, have to do the steps to must have a sponsor and must blah blah blah to the liberal meetings which say the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. The only Requirement for sobriety is not drinking, the only requirement to stay clean and straight (off drugs) is not to use them. The steps become part of life in other ways. Find what works best for you-it may be a 12 step program or something else.
In addition to The Big Book you might want to get a-hold of Living Sober, a sublime little book (yellow cover) which covers early sobriety/clean time and how to survive. It's not all about prayers.
Get a-hold of As Bill Sees It-a small book with an orange cover, which has an index on all sorts of topics and gives very brief little quotes from the AA co-founder Bill Wilson.
Go slow and easy and be easy on yourself as you embark on this pathway. At times it may be hard; however, there will be great rewards reaped later-happier times as you find you function quite well-perhaps better- without mind changing chemicals.
Best of everything as you step forward.