Honey, we cut off your labia because they get a lot of smegma, and everyone will laugh at you because it creates a terrible fishy odor that even soap and water doesn't always get rid of. Now it's a lot cleaner, and your boyfriends and future husband will be a lot more greatful and will enjoy sex with you more. You'll thank us when you're a little older, and you don't feel different in the locker room; all the girls have it done for the same reason.