1) If you could be one fictional character who would you be?

Neo from THE MATRIX movies.

2) What's sexier, abs or guns?

Real shoot 'em up guns.


3) If you could go on one talk show, which would it be?

Coast-to-Coast AM with George Noory.


4) If you could annihilate the existence of one song, which one?

?rince's PFUNK song. The day he decided to showcase that one I became an ex-?rince fan.



5) Would you rather be bitten by a beaver or stung by a wasp?

Wasp sting.

6) Would you rather compete on Survivor or The Amazing Race?

The Amazing Race.


7) So...Gold or silver?

Gold.


8) Do you know what a rainbow party is?

Yeah. It is a party where you have a bunch of gay guys eating SKITTLES candies and Neapolitan ice cream dissing the local jaded queens. And then we critique straight porn. Calling the stud, "Princess Barbie" and the box cover starlet, "Florence Henderson".

Example: "Luis, this is a FAB-U-LOUS Rainbow party.
Okay, you beyotches put in SEYMOUR BUTTS ANAL RETENTIVE WHORES. (Luis puts in the DVD and the porn begins.)

"Oh, noooooooooo. Princess Barbie is weeweeing in Florence Henderson's choco trunk. Oh, no--he din't. Exsqueeze me. THAT is NOSTY."


9) 5 week vacation, where are you going?

Australia. Taking pictures. Videotaping everything.


10) Whopper or Big Mac?

GET ME A DOUBLE MITT WHOPPAH!!!!

11) Have you ever yelled at a woman named Samantha?

No, but I wanna yell at Ann Coulter.


12) Baby is left on your doorstep...

...and I am calling Child Protective Services. Who left this baby on my friggin' doorstep?


13) Emmett Brown or the Nutty Professor?

The Nutty Professor.


14) Footloose or Flashdance

Flashdance.


15) Do you know who Kansas is?

It is a rock band.


16) Ever eat anything a normal human doesn't?

Frozen gummy bears.



17) Ever call 867-5309?

Fuck Jenny. That is Forrest Gump's beyotch.


18) Ever wondered what happened to love potions 1-8?

They have their uses.


19) plural form of cul-de-sac?

Culs-de-sac


20) Lorelai or Rory Gilmore

Rory.