Lewd Limerick Lovers!

If you've got a favorite big dick/little dick limerick, this is the place to share it!

There was a young man from Sharrock.
Who played the bass viol with his cock.
With enormous erections,
He'd pour forth selections,
By Johann Sebastian Bach!

Pecker

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who was old, but not yet kicked the bucket,
don't be a creep,
at the sound of the beep,
leave a message or you can just f-- orget about anyone calling you back!

If you think that our boy's now a stud,
you've been fooled by the size of his pud.
Though twelve inches soft,
When it rises aloft,
He just faints from the transfer of blood.

Pecker

BiteSize: Another young man from Nantucket
Had a penis so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
While wiping his chin
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it."

oldman9x7: There was an old man from Kent
Who had a pecker so long that it bent;
So to save himself trouble
He'd put it in double
And instead of cumming, he went.
Gramps

A short-organed fellow named Kevin
Used a vacuum to stretch it to seven.
Then to eight and to nine,
And though ten was divine,
There will be film at eleven.


Pecker

Finedessert: There was a young girl from Sofia
Who succumed to her lovers desire.......

She said, "It's a sin
But now that's it's in....

Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

Grandpa

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
By nine-thirty Skinner was in her.


Pecker

[quote author=bilbobagginsx link=board=99;num=1053648853;start=0#5 date=05/24/03 at 0413]A short-organed fellow named Kevin
Used a vacuum to stretch it to seven.
Then to eight and to nine,
And though ten was divine,
There will be film at eleven.[/quote]
If you think our young friend's now a stud
You've been fooled by the size of his pud
Though it's twelve inches soft
When it rises aloft
He faints from the sheer loss of blood

An ex-submariner named Guido
Had a most tremendous libido.
When he was around women
He just couldn't go swimmin
Because of his gigantic torpedo.


Pecker

Finedessert: In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Complacenty stroking his madam,

And loud was his mirth

For he knew that on earth

There were only two balls.....and he had'em.

The drugs that we take when we're ailin'
Have alternate names for retailin'
Tylenol's Acetaminophen,
Advil is Ibuprophen
And Viagra is Mycoxafailin'.


Pecker

Since some of the posts here don't deal with cock size, mine my be appropriate. It's one I wrote and it won first prize at a limerick contest at a Renaissance faire I regularly attend.

"A famed ornithologist named Rollo
Gave me this bit of logic to follow:
The bird of true love
Is not the white dove;
Can there be any doubt 'tis the swallow?"

Ha!

That's a winner!


Pecker

There once was a man named Rex
Who would show everyone his small sex
He'd always get off
When the judge would scoff
De minimis non curat lex