Lewd Limerick Lovers!

A young girl from South Carolina
Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina
With proper sized cocks
What was sex, became Bach's
Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor.

Pecker

My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bosom with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.

Pecker

There once was a man from Uppingham
Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham
Just watching the stunts
Of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were f**king 'em.

Pecker

Finedessert_again: There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates.
But a fall on his cutlass
Has rendered him nutless,
and practically useless on dates.

Grandpa

There once was a knight dubbed Lancelot
At whom people would look askance a lot
For whenever he passed
A delectable lass
The lance in his pants would advance a lot.

Pecker

There once was a man from Australia
Who had rather large genitalia
He said to his bride,
'Don't run and hide
Cause wherever you go I can nail ya.'

Pecker

There once was a man from Australia
Who had rather large genitalia
He said to his bride,
'It's useless to hide,
Cause wherever you go I can nail ya!'

Pecker

There once was a fellow named Fong
Who's penis was seven feet long.
It was bronzed when he died,
For the Church of Saint Clyde,
Where it's now a bell clapper, ding dong!

Pecker

There once was a boy named McNameter
Who was blessed with great length and diameter
But it wasn't his size
That gave them surprise
It was his rhythm, iambic pentameter!

Pecker

There is a young milkman named Schwartz,
Whose short cock's all covered with warts.
But women do play
With his dick anyway,
'Cause they know young Schwartz comes in quarts.

Pecker

oldman9x7: There was a young lady from Sydney
Who could take it clear up to her kidney,
But a man from Quebek
Ran it up to her neck --
He had a BIG one, didn'' 'e?

Gramps

How about a female biggun? (Sorry I couldn't pass this one up!)

There once was a villian most feared,
Who tied a lass to a train track and leered,
But he tied her up wrong-ways,
Not cross-ways but long-ways,
And a forty car train disappeared!

Pecker

There was a young stud from Missouri
Who fucked with astonishing fury
'Til taken to court
For his vigorous sport,
And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.

Pecker