These are hard questions to answer, as the only real answer is that it is all a matter of what YOU want to make of your own life. How bad do you want it? If you want it bad enough, then you will go out and get it.

My life story is very much like yours. Lost my virginity at 18, then went through a loooooong lonely period. Over the past ten years I have only had three partners at different random times. Twice I got close to the girl over time and then sex came naturally. The other one was a random hook-up after the second time I met the girl. I definitely prefered the long-term girls. But all three girls have been well satisfied with me, and once the ice was broken, more sex was easy. But for various reasons, the relationships never lasted.

Making new social relationships has been the problem. I don't even count the years any more. Part of my lonelyness is becasue I am shy, but then I know I could make more effort to find sex. I don't have any external things that attract women (money, car, power, etc), don't have great looks (and I don't do much to improve them), I don't behave assertively, I don't go out and get it, and I hate dancing. Those things stack the odds against me.

But then I always come back to the question, is that what I really want in my life? Would sex really make my life more fullfilling? Yes, I love sex, or I wouldn't be here posting on a sexually oriented webpage. I really loved the times in my life when I was sexually active. But those times kind-of just happened as I went with the flow of my life. Just sitting back hasn't gotten me laid very much. I think that if you want lots of sex, then you have to want it bad enouh to go out and get it. If you want to go with the flow maybe you can meet some nice serious long-term types, and still have good sex after time. I think large amounts of random hook-ups would be far easier than keeping one steady girl satisfied. A large amount of permiscuity is obviously not wise for many reasons. But, that's not what I want. Like I said, I enjoyed the relationship girls over the quicky girl. One steady, sexually active partner would do for me. But I just can't seem to make it happen. My personality seems to attract lots of "friends" and nothing else.

Will I one day actually feel good about this dull period if I ever meet the right girl? ....like all those people who "save themselves" for "the one". What makes those people happy? Well, my life has turned out that I am like those chaste people now, whether I wanted it or not. I think I might as well be happy with what I've got, and make my life into something happy. I still have a few years left in school. I can't force things like this to happen, but I think I am feeling the pressure more and more to make some good relationships happen in my life as I realize I am approaching the end of an era in which my chances are best. As I said at the beginning, if we want it bad enough, then we will go out and get it.

Anyway, kind of rambled on there... but hopefully we have enough in common that you're interested.