From the way you describe her.....she sounds selfish and self centered. And it also sounds like someone has spoilt her (always let her have her way) and she thinks that is just the way it is and will always be.

What I suggest is that you tell her your not happy......this marriage is not a one way street......it has to be a two way street. Ya'll need to continue in marriage counseling......she needs to continue on the dilating and making progress with it.....and until normal sexual intercourse relationship can resume.......there needs to be other sexual contact going on. I don't think a once a week hand job or a blow job is too much to ask for......if she isn't going to have sexual intercourse with you.

Of course all this has to be negociated with your wife........but I would think that if she truly loved you......she wouldn't want you to be insane with sexual tension.

My opinion of course.