Honestly, I prefer men sexually. I don't hate women socially.

I do think a lot about (hypothetically contingent): What would it be like being with women sexually? That is short-lived.

Then, I start thinking about men. I want them. I don't worry about getting pregnant. I do worry about keeping men's interest. I don't trust them for that matter. I always feel the rules changing with men. I also hate feeling like I gotta compete. It is sooo goddamned tiring. It really is. Gay men can be temperamental.

I would like to meet some guy and not feel like I am losing before I even begin. There used to be a time when I was happy. Now, I am not so...after dealing with the wrong guys. I would like to feel happy again.