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Originally Posted by krispdx  I was looking for ... and didn't find ... the Beck Depression Inventory, a series of several questions designed to test your mood to see if how you feel is just the blues that everyone gets from time to time ... or depression that needs to be treated with therapy or meds.
It's what was recommended to me to keep track of how I feel, which can be hard to do over time when we're depressed.
Depression is a common but serious mental health issue that can mess with quality of life. It can also be treated, but being depressed can ... itself ... make it hard to search out treatment. |
You said it. Every time I've come out of a major depression (in both the clinical and vernacular definition) I always have vowed to remember the signs and the symptoms and the thought patterns. And even so, I never know I'm depressed when I'm depressed. Or, rather, I know I hate myself and I blame myself for everything and resign to doing nothing because I don't feel I deserve to do anything, but it never occurs to me that I'm depressed and maybe I'm not to blame for all of the world's problems. The problem with depression -- at least in my case, and I can only assume everyone has a unique experience -- is that I only realize how profoundly dark and unbearable my mood has become when I'm in recovery. And I've had depressions that last for a year or longer.
It's fucking awful. And it manifests itself physically. And it's irrational. It fucks with your entire perception of yourself and the world around you. Sorry if that's a little bit of a downer. I'm starting to realize now -- after months of therapy and finally going back on meds -- that I'm recovering from a very, VERY serious depression. Unfortunately, I spent almost two years in the state I just described.
Ironically, I've had more emotions in the past two weeks than I have in the past two years. It's a good thing. The difference is that I feel my emotions now. And that, more than anything else, is a sign that things are getting better.
oy.
Right! The good news is, things are only going to get better!