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Originally Posted by wowniceone  awesome story; in fact i just jerked off to it!
if i may make a few observations:
1) be consistent. i get annoyed with stories where the author says the dick is one size, then later it's two inches bigger. you said he was 13, then elsewhere, 14. was an inconsistency, or our matthew isn't much of a grower... :)
2) how could matthew know cup sizes if he'd been in africa so long? perhaps some other, more african, frame of reference would have helped us imagine things as matthew sees them (though we're so far into the story that changing now would be weird).
3) re: gay sub-theme someone mentioned. i'm gay, but don't need it. wouldn't mind, but only if it was made to happen very naturally. not everything has to have a gay slant. however, i don't see how any of those girls is going to take all of him in her *pussy*... ;)
keep "up" the great story buddy! |
1) You are right about the shower thing... I was thinking that since he stretched his dick hanging rocks from it, that he wouldn't be much of a grower. I will try to pay more attention to that though.
2) I know what you mean about the cup sizes, I should have thought about that, I don't think I will change it now though.
3) Ironically, I have just written a part with somewhat of a gay twist, but it is not at all what anybody would think... Don't worry straight readers... haha
Thanks for your input!