can't cum while receiving head

felipe: I wonder what women would say here of their inabilities to give good head...how many of them would complain about their partner's inability to give them good oral?

Shaolin: I've had the poor fortune of finding women who give poor BJs. I've only found one that was great, and I still couldn't come, but I shook like a motel bed. I think it was psychological, because she was a little nuts, and I feared she would...like, scoop it up and put it in a journal or something.

drdirt: Yeah, I know her.

I actually dread the first time a woman goes down on me. Tactfully changing positions to good ol' rutting can sometimes be difficult.

I lived with one who managed to get me there about 3 times in a year and half. Yet, in 26 years since my first - I've cum maybe 6 or 7 times from oral sex. My wife and I tried and tried.

When one girl (really wonderful sex otherwise) quit giving me head, her TMJ cleared up. She swore that was it and claimed her D.O. and DDS agreed...I'm not sure I want to know anything more about those consultations!

I'm not long, but the width causes some of them to give up easily. What is really frustrating is if they haven't slept with other guys with width before. I may not get much vaginal time either. I remember back in high school - boy did I get frustrated.

I vote for slobber. And a hand to keep some pacing while she takes a break. Some of the other tips I'll have to try - If I could just poll a few hundred women to find one or two that take thick and don't mind a middle-aged widower! (I mean can take thick and act like they enjoy it, not just say they like it.)

BTW: Thanks for the tips...

SpeedoGuy: Well, heh heh heh

I've never had a BJ I thought was poor...

Seriously, though. Like some others, I almost always have trouble cumming during a BJ. Its not the partner's fault...its just something to do with me. To finish up I have to go over to straight ahead sex.

kyle: This is interesting. I never knew there was any man (much less many men) who didn't cum from fellatio.

Personally, I prefer no hands at all, and I have perfect control of when I cum. If it's good head I'll make it last a good long time. If it's not so good I'll cum right away. I'm fortunate to be paired with an excellent lover and couldn't be happier.

I can't do it either. :(

The last guy tried for a real long time.

-- Erik

ChgoBigDikLuvr: As a gay man who loves to perform oral sex on well-endowed men for extended, marathon suck sessions, I encourage the man I'm sucking to just kick back, relax, and enjoy the pleasure instead of trying to cum. I reassure him that the means (the cocksucking) is as, if not more, pleasurable than the end (the orgasm). This often takes the pressure off of him to try to ejaculate, and the orgasm comes much more spontaneously. If only more guys would appreciate the process, and not just the outcome.

Yeah. I hate being asked when I plan to come; the way I see it, if you're doing a good job sucking my dick, then there's no way I can not come.

meathose10: Ditto Dee....nothing better than a cocksucker enjoying their work. If anything I keep having to ease my cock out of the mouth for a while and let it rest , or I'll disappoint the fan working on me by pumping cum too soon.....I get very excited watching my meat hosing down a throat - and if her eyes are looking up at me , forget it....I can pop in 5 minutes! So I let my nurser take a breather and try to see if I can get the warm juice to settle back down some. It really surprises me that so many of you guys have trouble reaching orgasm. I could USE a little trouble!

dalton321: Hell, I always give my guy a mouthful of hot sticky jizz when he gives head.

I'm still in the opinion, guys just give better head than women ;)

BIGBOYDAVE: I agree its not the coming thats most important its the pleasure in giving and reciving .
If someone is constantly asking for me to cum when they are giving me head The chances are they never will get it as it becomes like a demand in my mind and although I can stiill maintain an erection The pleasure goes away.
It then in my mind feels like ITS just one way and I prefer mutual enjoyment even if I am only on the reciving end of a bj.
As a working escort this has been a problem I tell clients if they persist in begging for a load they will never get it.

dairyman71: I went for years without being able to get off when blown. I have always loved a good BJ but had a hang-up about them being "dirty" if I came. Even with this hang-up I told myself that I would probably marry the first one who could get me to blow. Years later I met a woman that quite literally blew my socks off (another story) and I have been in heaven since. Now that the story is over, let me get to the point. I found that there is two things that get me off quicker than anything else. One: Don't beat off for a couple of days if you know you are going to get some. The tension that builds up tends to get you off sooner( not mention the explosive results). Two: RELAX!!!! Don't focus on the fact that you cannot cum, but on the enjoyment that the other is giving you. It is similar to those that experience psychological impotence. It becomes a vicious circle that perpetuates itself over and over again. Just my two scents.

joeice345: I struggle, but here are a few of my thoughts:

1. LUBE, LUBE, LUBE
2. Get your favorite porn to help out.
3. For me it makes a BIG difference when I feel like she's enjoying it
4. have her use her hands
5. Help her out with your hands when necessary. Help her learn how you like it. Teach her.

[quote author=joeice345 link=board=health;num=1037570629;start=30#42 date=02/17/03 at 12:48:03]

"... here are a few of my thoughts:

*For me it makes a BIG difference when I feel like
she's enjoying it

*have her use her hands

*Help her out with your hands when necessary. *Help
her learn how you like it. *Teach her."

[/quote]


These points sound so simple but I deem them excellent. We guys take so much for granted.
We know what we like and "what it takes".

Many women I suppose need suggestions and guidance.

This could be another thread I suppose, but--

I've often thought it would be interesting (maybe amusing?) to hear from some of the women as to how they felt when handling a penis for themselves the first time? Are they scared of hurting us when they touch it? Do they think it's fragile or it will break? Exactly what went through their minds at the time?

Truly some women (new to fellatio) can seem pretty intimidated or fearful they will do something wrong.

Any of our women members care to respond?

Jimbo: To those who can't come while receiving head:

When you come during intercourse and especially during masturbation, you are essentially in control. You use the right combinations of thrusting speed, tactile stimulation (and pressure) that you have learned will eventually cause the sexual tension to build to the point of orgasm.

Hopefully during intercouse you also do what your partner enjoys so that the experience results in mutual satifisfaction via their orgasm as well. If your partner has not explicty told you what to do, you use the feeback you get (the moans, facial expression, breathing rate, etc) to let you know when you are "in the zone" for them to have an orgasm. Once again this is a "learned" experience.

When you are getting head, your role is much more passive (most women/parnters don't take to having their head held in a firm grip and being forceably face-fucked simulating vaginal intercouse). As a result, the combination of sensations that will result in you coming have to be be "learned" by the mouth and/or hands of your partner.

Some partners based on experience or instinct just seem to "know" what to do, others really have to learn. This in not a sign of "inadequacy", just inexperience. However, even if they were successul at giving head to others, your "script" might be different enough so that they dont get you off. Not everyone is the same, just like no two guys masturbate in exactly the same way even though the "moves" may look similar.

Therefore, communication is essential. You MUST let your partner know via your words and reactions when something feels especially good. Too many guys just "kick back" and expect their partner to figure it out. When they can't, not only do you get frustrated but THEY DO TOO and this just leads to more failure. If you can't seem to get the point across verbally or via your reactions while they are doing it, show them by mastubating to orgasm while they watch. Your partner will see where your "hot spots" are and this can be quite a turn on for both. (This also works for guys who want to give their partners mind blowing oral sex as well!)

Also keep in mind that some people just DO NOT like to give BJ's and do it out of accomodation for their partner. Enthusiam by the giver definitely heightens the sensations for the one getting blown. So ASK! You may be able to still teach them to "get you off" eventually but for me, knowing that my partner does NOT like to do it, really does not satisfy me since I feel that there should be some mutual enjoyment. If they say they really are not into blowjobs, then you have to make a decision if this is something that is really that important in your relationship.