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Originally Posted by jeffery_stelesvyle  How do you like being fondled for your milk? |
Gently and slowly. the first udder must be tugged softly and slowly, then each time it gets faster and harder, until i have no more milk left and i go to graze in happyness.
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Originally Posted by Mandee Do you get along well with the other farm animals? |
Sheep and me have a very close bond. I was talking to a sheep this morning in fact. we discussed the general bitchiness of ducks. The creatures may look cute, but I assure you they are the bitchiest animals ever!
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Originally Posted by MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Do you prefer to be milked standing up or down? |
The man or me? I only stand up when no humans are looking. oops. I didn't just say that (Don't tell anyone, its a secret...)
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Originally Posted by Calboner Thank you, Dumbcow. I suspected as much. The other day, I was minding my eight-year-old nephew when he laughed at a man on television who called a woman a "stupid cow." I told him, "Now, Josh, you must never, ever call a lady a stupid cow. It's a very nasty and hurtful thing to say. Call her a stupid cunt instead." I'm glad to have confirmation that I did the right thing.
By the way, I wonder if you are acquainted with a famous essay on the cow, written by a child as a school exercise. I quote it below. The Cow is a mammal. It has six sides — right, left, an upper and below. At the back it has a tail on which hangs a brush. With this it sends the flies away so that they do not fall into the milk. The head is for the purpose of growing horns and so that the mouth can be somewhere. The horns are to butt with, and the mouth is to moo with. Under the cow hangs the milk. It is arranged for milking. When people milk, the milk comes and there is never an end to the supply. How the cow does it I have not yet realized, but it makes more and more. The cow has a fine sense of smell; one can smell it far away. This is the reason for the fresh air in the country. The man cow is called an ox. It is not a mammal. The cow does not eat much, but what it eats it eats twice, so that it gets enough. When it is hungry it moos, and when it says nothing it is because its inside is all full up with grass. Please let us know what you think of this composition. |
I feel you did the right thing by telling him to insult humans instead of cows. Us cows are very appreciative.
This child seems to know a vast amount about us cows. I agree that this is a good essay with many well thought out points. However, It fails to grasp the concept of the world's first typing cow, me, proving that we can comprehend English.
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Originally Posted by pavement Hermaphrodite ? |
Good question. It is hard for us cows to check - we are not very flexible. Maybe I will never know...