It was apparent to me pretty early that my cat burglar escapades had more than a bit of a sexual element to them. It took many years to fully understand my compulsion to break into people's homes, and why it was such a turn-on for me. But one pivotal event sealed the deal for me.

My senior year in high school I'd been doing my b-and-e thing for only a year and was still kinda figuring it out as I went. I was friends at the time with a guy named Dexter, who was sort of a big man on campus wannabe. Beefy but not athletic, always bragging about how hot he was and how many girls he'd pulled, a bit of a bully though not mean about it. Really, just one of those clueless assholes who think big loud talk is what makes you a man. I'm not sure why I hung around him, but we got along okay and I went along with his bragging though - in particular - I was almost completely certain he was a virgin.

Late one hot summer afternoon I swung by his house to see if he wanted to go shoot hoops or something. His parents were just leaving to go to a movie and said he was out 'on a date.' This surprised me, as he hadn't said a word about it and that was way out of character for him. They didn't seem to know who he was with, and that seemed a little odd, too. They invited me to stay and wait for him.

I'd never been alone in his room before and it didn't take long for my burglar tendencies to kick into gear - and hardly anytime more than that before I discovered his stashes of porn and pot. I heard the front door click open, and then Dexter's deep voice, followed by that of a girl.

For reasons I didn't understand, for the first time - but SO not the last - I went into his bedroom closet and quietly pulled the door shut.