how-to

da_blissmachine: okay i know this is going to sound like a repeat but i would appreciate it if both guys and girls could give me some instructions on how to 'put it in' and have sex with a big penis........ or at least tell me the titles of previous posts which do this. also, any positions that work best for the hung

A good bit of advice for your first time is to do reverse-missionary: This way, if she injures herself, it's all her fault. LOL

BiteSize: LOL, jonb, but it's true that girl on top means that she can determine how much goes in, and how fast. Apart from all the usual stuff about foreplay and lubrication, a foreskin will help, if you've got one (and I think as a Hindu you would). Mine is long and loose and I'm grateful for that: sometimes pull it forward so it passes through the entrance more easily and reduces initial friction. The glans sort of follows through in a telescoping movement.
Of course this will only work properly without a condom which means in a stable and monogamous relationship...

Bliss,

A good question, and you have already received good answers. There are other threads, but this has to be just about the most important issues we have to face.

But in my view, it needs at least a two stage approach. "Putting it in", if you have a very big glans, is one stage; then, when she begins to be accustomed to your thickness, a gradual increase of depth is another.

I agree that the 'woman on top' position gives her control; but I can vouch for the fact that she can still hurt herself -- and hurt you -- if she is uncontrolled, if she pushes down too far, or if she loses her balance. Some more average guys can use their whole length in that position so that she is sitting right down on them ... no way will that be possible for you to start with, if ever. The vagina tends to shorten in that position ... my experience bears this out.

I would concentrate at least to start with just on initial penetration. The head only. No doubt as any other well hung guy would tell you, you need lots of patient foreplay, lots of lube, and to be gentle yet firm. After she is used to that you can begin to encourage her to take more length -- that gradual process of adjustment can be the sexiest thing in itself IMHO. It's best I think always to give her a bit less than she wants at any stage. Keep her wanting more, which, after all, you are the guy who is well equipped to give her ....

da_blissmachine: what exactly is foreplay? i may sound like a sexist pig but if i am giving i expect to be getting

da_blissmachine,

I'll trust here that you want a sincere response about foreplay.

Foreplay is the "preparation time" before actually doing any of the above (entering). I will let others follow with whatever details they may choose to supply but it generally involves a period of caressing, kissing, tenderly loving, etc. with approaches to include (whatever) methods of genital massaging and manual stimulation all of which would help pave-the-way for more effortless entry. --That's as far as I will go with my details here. Someone else can follow.

But, it's the line you used here that concerns me:

[quote author=da_blissmachine link=board=sex;num=1045982970;start=0#4 date=02/23/03 at 1908]

"... but if i am giving i expect to be getting."

[/quote]


Forgive me,

But, I believe this may call for some attitude adjustment here.

One of the true milestones of manhood--a defining moment for any man, is when he learns to put the interests of the other person FIRST...meeting the emotional and physical needs of his lover first and foremost; and THEN the personal pleasure for himself can then follow. This is the probably one of the best "measuring rods" for any man in the love-making department...all things considered.

fanjo: You are probably right, benderten2001, but I think the door needs to swing both ways in a relationship. I knew a girl who loved to be eaten out but refused to give anyone oral sex. It's her choice but I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone like that.

Though this situation is different. If foreplay allows da_blissmachine to get inside without hurting the girl then he'll be getting a good enough reward for his efforts.

fanjo,

You make a valid point, indeed. Of course the man's pleasure IS important within any relationship. Sometimes, with larger-size men, it seems (at least) some compromises have to be considered (on his part) and I didn't mean to imply that a man has to settle for less pleasure overall. Granted, there may be some relationships where total, mutual pleasure (for both parties) may indeed not be easily attained for a variety of (good) reasons. I contend, (and others here would agree I believe) that with time, many of these issues and "challenges"can be worked through if the foundation of the relationship is important.

My main concern with my earlier post was to assert that going into any relationship merely for purely selfish motives--"what I can get out of it FIRST".....is less than ideal I would think.

da_blissmachine: I did not mean to sound that selfish...... i will gladly give but not if i get nothing in return. if i'm getting her off with my hand, i would expect some kind of stimulation from her. i guess i thaught there were many women who were piggish about getting but not giving. while there are some, i doubt there are many. growing up in a reverse-mysoginistic household makes me think sometimes that most women just want what's in it for themselves.

da_blissmachine: "if i am giving i expect to be getting "

i think that may have been misinterpreted. of course i will be willing in fact probably eager to explore my partners body in any way possible. i just would prefer that she be giving me foreplay as well. i dont want to feel used.

da_blissmachine,

No Problem. You're among friends here.
And, I don't mean to give you a difficult time. In fact, you have been known to prompt some very interesting discussions around here.!

This time, I LIKED what you said:

[quote author=da_blissmachine link=board=sex;num=1045982970;start=0#9 date=02/25/03 at 1720]

"... *i dont want to feel used."

[/quote]


Of course you don't! And, you wouldn't want HER to feel used, either.....

---would you?

That is EXACTLY the point I was trying to make to you.
--It's really a lesson for all of us here. ;)