Quote:
Originally Posted by ManlyBanisters  17. Crying is blackmail. It's a form of emotional expression we've been conditioned our whole lives not to use, except for something really serious, like death (real death, not tearjerker movie death), and sometimes not even then. Hence, we don't understand it, can't relate to it, and don't know how to handle it. We'll do almost anything to get you to stop, including lying to you or promising to do something even if we think it's a bad idea. Use it if you must, but we don't like it and ultimately it's not good for the relationship.
That's not entirely fair - it isn't always a weapon. I have two modes in which I cry - neither can be helped - I never do it voluntarily. In mode one I am sad - the tears come, it's natural. In mode two I am so fucking unbelievably angry that I am about to explode and take every fucker in the room to a new level of hell - and the fact that I start to cry frustrates me and makes me even angrier - so if you see me crying and I don't look like I need a hug fucking run! |
Thank you!
I believe the free expression of emotion, as it occurs, is healthy for women
and men. Some of us do cry when we're angry. We can also cry when our feelings are hurt, when we're frustrated, or when we're sad about something (and no, it doesn't have to be death.)
I believe the solution to the point raised in #17 isn't for women to cry
less -- it is for men to cry
more!
I'm not about to start stifling my emotions for any man, and my man wouldn't have me any other way. In fact, he refers to me as "emotionally mature," because I've become good at recognizing and expressing my emotions as they occur, exactly as they are. I don't build mountains out of molehills, but I don't act as if the little things don't matter, because over time, they can matter a great deal.
I call it "keeping my emotional house clean." I don't let shit build up, and that leaves me with a clean slate continually in my most important relationships. I don't carry resentments around -- if you upset me, I will probably cry (I'm an emotional creature) and if you're not strong enough to handle that without feeling "blackmailed," I don't need you in my life.