I think your emotion is ;When you look face of girl you , you feel love . When you look face of man , if he is better than you , you admire. This are different things. In my opinion being gay is socially constructed.In the high school or close organizations(like religious schools).They can't find girl.So , some narcisist guys change their gender as woman(passive gays). Some losers or sexually hungry people fuck them.This does'nt mean I am opposed to gay people.I accept homosexuality as a sexual fantasy.I never understand how a person love someone who has beard.Nevermind it is your life.