"Straight, bi or gay"

Javierdude22: Ok...suitinthecity....your question if im not dissatisfied about myself....if im unhappy....

to be frank, im very unhappy about not knowing what my 'label' is....i guess i totally agree with Deeblackthorne on this....its not like i asked to be in this situation, and its not like i can turn the switch over and say, well ill just stick with this and that....it doesnt work like that, but like Dee said, i guess youd only understand if u had to deal with the same thing.

And yes im in a great relationship now...and he knows what the deal is, and weve split up two times almost already over me not knowing what the fucks goin on with me...but im not being dishonest about it, he can stay or leave whenever.

Its a fucked up thing...not in the least cause i'm not happy about being gay, im half Spanish from a region that acts like Franco never died so being gay means spending my life without them, and dont give me the lecture about how its not worth it either then, cause life just doesnt always work like that.

Uhm...i guess im kinda swirling off the topic, but concluding:....its not a clearcut thing, theres no choices to be made, only compromises...life, fate, God or whatever made that choice already.

laterz :)

Javier

That is a really cool, honest reply,
and i think a lot of bi guys feel the same.

kyle: Alligator - you're right. I'm in an LTR with a guy, and suit, I'm happy with it. txqis got that I meant it's about the individual. The relationship I was in before my current one was with a woman. We were together for years and happy, but I never considered myself straight just because I was with a woman.

Whew!

sammygirly: [quote author=Javierdude22 link=board=meetgreet;num=1050351452;start=12#15 date=04/15/03 at 13:48:24]to be frank, im very unhappy about not knowing what my 'label' is....[/quote]

Don't be unhappy without a label. I'm bi too, and am totally happy with it. It is my opinion that we are all bisexual until societal influences and personal prefrences dictate otherwise.

Bisexual is the best lable to wear - not the worst.

norseman: Wow, I'm amazed at the direction this thread has taken. *
Cool *
Bi's of the world UNITE ! *
Actually I was going to send a message to Dee directly, but then thought it might be worth sharing. *I don't think that you or anyone else needs to be uncomfortable with making choices or having conflicted feelings in bisexuality. *In my own head, its all Apples and Oranges. *While I might prefer to seek a woman as a life/sex partner (something to do with that yin/yang, male/female, tarzan/jane thing), and let's call that the Orange, * I've recognized that I do like sex with guys as well, lets call that Apples (Adams apple, get it ?). * *Being an orange lover isn't an exclusive condition. I may be a life-long orange eater, but I may eat apples on occasion. *Society doesn't think twice about that set of options. *Variety is in fact encouraged. *Now add sex (gasp !) to the equation and attitudes change quicky. * Take away the puritanism, recognize our abilities to enjoyably interact sexually with either sex, and RELAX.
(OK, and no wisecracks about fruits.)

Finedessert: Back when I first came to California, the State Department of Agriculture had inspection stations at the state line so that no fruits would be brough into the state. ( I think they still do ).

We were greeted by this inspector who said. " Welcome to California, the land of Friuts and Nuts if you Arn't, you Are."

It wasn't until we hit Hollywood did we really understand what he was talking about.

Grandpa

norseman: Geez, I thought I said NO WISECRACKS about fruits ! (It was a pretty good one, though..)

Javierdude22: [quote author=norseman link=board=meetgreet;num=1050351452;start=12#19 date=04/16/03 at 07:46:50]* Take away the puritanism, recognize our abilities to enjoyably interact sexually with either sex, and RELAX.
(OK, and no wisecracks about fruits.)[/quote]

Ok...uhm i like the oranges/apples story....i had the same thing on the Cali border when i lived there for a while, funny people. Coopl to read some different perspectives on this topic...its good to see what other people think.

I just wanted to say though, that it might not always just be about sex. Ya know...its like this, people come with baggage....friends, family....but also unforgettably they come with an idea of how they want their life to look like eventually. For some that might be an eternal fuckfest, for some perhaps a family.

Its like ive always seen myself as having a wife and kids....ok, dont go yawning on me now, its true. I realize now however that i might not be able to commit myself to a girl totally....cause of 'that' problem. But i have trouble committing myself to a guy simply cause it kinda freaks me out. My body would be fine with it, but just the thought makes my mind go WHAT THE HELL?!?! no way!!......

Basically its like this i guess. I have always, i mean my mind, had these morals about being monogamous, stable, committing....but at the same time my body's going: wheres the party?!....ya know...my mind would rather be with girls, my body perhaps more with guys...i dunno

Oh well....laterz :)

J

this is a good discussion.

Labels are tough because we are all so different,
what we need, what we are comfortable with.

I agree, it isnt just about sex.
I was (and am) attracted to women sexually, but
I find i am emotionally connected with men.
All the spiritual things you feel inside about
love and a loved one, i feel with men.

I think it is funny.
When i called myself "bi" my straight
and my gay friends always said, "i'm not buying it".

People on both sides of that fence did
not like me sitting on it.

[quote author=txqis link=board=meetgreet;num=1050351452;start=12#23 date=04/16/03 at 12:20:33]People on both sides of that fence did
not like me sitting on it.
[/quote]

Exactly my point. People on either side of this proverbial sense are threatened by those who cannot apparently commit to one side or the other exclusively, hence, the fear of threat.

But, correct me if I'm wrong, bisexuals have their own yard and space for sexuality. It's a little less defined and concrete and there very well be a need to listen to each and every eccentricity for the numerous bisexuals out there, but in all honesty, the worst thing someone can do is refuse you the right to voice your feelings and sentiments honestly.

Perhaps it's for that very reason that I don't have too many gay friends (specific problems with them the past few years) or any friends for that matter who demonstrate how judgmental they are -- that they don't bother to get to know me more than my sexuality -- but I can live with it. I decided long ago that for people who think "Bi now, gay later," that they're not worth my time or patience.

Sad conclusion: Is ignorance here to stay? I hope not. I don't mind talking about my sexuality (obviously) and I don't mind answering questions (did it for a psychology of sexual identity class with my bisexual girlfriend at the time).

tott666: We like to know what we're dealing with, sort of...

I think a lot of the resentement of bisexuals might stem from the fact that those of us who aren't sitting on the fence get insecure and worried. We obviously can't be two sexes (unless you're a hermaphrodite) and we might worry that we can't provide what the other one needs.

And we (or at least I, have to admit it...) have been watching too much Rikki Lake where the guests spill it all about being unfaithful with the other sex; the sex their current parent doesn't have, i e.

Bisexuality is sometimes viewed as a "get out of jail free" card by some people. IMO that's plain wrong. You choose a partner of either sex and stay faithful to him/her as long as the relationship lasts! Unless you have an open relationship, basically being close fuck buddies.

Alligator_Jack: my last gf would tell me i could cheat on her as much as i wanted, as long as it was with a guy, i didnt really understand the thinking behind that, thats what i thought you might be getting at tott

[quote author=Alligator_Jack link=board=meetgreet;num=1050351452;start=24#27 date=04/16/03 at 1524]my last gf would tell me i could cheat on her as much as i wanted, as long as it was with a guy, i didnt really understand the thinking behind that, thats what i thought you might be getting at tott[/quote]

Because she can't fuck you. Duhh...

I'll agree with Sammy about bisexuality: I'm straight, and I've never had sex with a man, but it's possible, provided we knew each other well enough, and we both agreed to the conditions.

Alligator_Jack: [quote author=jonb link=board=meetgreet;num=1050351452;start=24#28 date=04/16/03 at 16:40:03]

Because she can't fuck you. Duhh...

[/quote]



what?

sammygirly: That's a common misconception I'd like to see go away - that bisexual people are of the "cake and eat it too" variety...or in other words, will cheat at the drop of a hat and justify the action with "but I'm bi"

Cheating is cheating - irregardless of your sexual preference and your personal tastes don't make any kind of deception right. I'm not saying a healthy 3-some is a bad thing ~grin~ but consent is the key.