Do guys REALLY joke about sex/their penis?

hung: I will share an experience I had to endure yesterday.
I was donating blood at the local Red Cross Center. After a long period of time I asked the attendant if I was doing O.K. I then stated that I did not want to be known as a "Slow Breeder." My speech was not clear and my intent was to ascertain if I was a "Slow Bleeder."

Unknown to me there was a lady behind the reclining chair I was in who immediately burst into loud laughter.

The other Blood donor in the lounge chair besides me, also a Navy Veteran - we discussed our prior life before the blood letting started- and he quickly stated, you do not understand - this guy is a retired Sailor. Nothing about slow breeders when it comes to Sailors or words to that effect.

After ward - we all had a great laugh about my unplanned slip of the word.

Talk about sex/joke about sex - this was an event shared between males and females at a blood donor center.

mhk: Wow, I can't believe all the strange responses. Maybe I just have really strange friends, and a brother, but we joke about everything. There are parameters, of course, but we really get quite vulgar at times. Granted, we are alot different in the presence of a lady. We share stories, names usually withheld, but not always. Usually, no one is safe with my group of friends. We share, boast, brag about size, and other conquests/accomplishments. Usually in a comical fashion, of course. Well, in a nutshell(which is where this response belongs), we can get very disgusting at times and no one is really safe. Even mothers and grandmothers.... ;)

roedhunt: NOW we're getting somewhere! ;D

So whats the most popular disgusting comments?

I don't joke like that very often, but then I'm a fairly private person. Even the people that know me well say it took a while to really get to know me. And outside this forum, I can count on one hand the number of non-lovers that I've discussed my dick size with. I don't really care about the dick size of my friends or relatives, so I figure they don't need to know mine.

On the other hand, I have heard the kind of talk you're referring to. My belief is that men discuss it in more of a boast/joke/exaggerate, but not quite as intimate. Some of the friends of my exes have known things I wouldn't tell anyone.

headbang8: Roeddy,

Thanks for this interesting topic. *A few thoughts:

• Scientists with high libidos and too much grant money have concluded that men are programmed to spread their sperm around as widely as possible, whereas women are programmed to want to confine their breeding to the single man who will protect them. *If we accept this notion, then isn't it to a male's evolutionary advantage to take sex as lightly as possible? *For women, there's much more at stake for her body in the sex act than for a man's. *It's really no laughing matter.
• Male equipment is sillier than any other body part on either gender. * *Even with dicks the size we have here, genitalia hanging off a male body bring to mind a booger hanging off the end of a nose. *God created man, looked at him, and saw that he'd forgotten something---"Oops, I guess he he has to fuck, too. *Let's just screw a few more bits onto the outside." *
• Jokes are about, among other things, truth revealed and weakness exposed. *We men are told to be strong and in control, to show little of our true selves and to endure pain with pride. * Well, what did God do but put the most revealing and delicate bits right smack dab under our bellies for all the world to see? * You women can conceal your state of arousal and play the will-she-won't-she games of seduction--for men there's no way to hide our interest. * And the bits that hurt the most are amongst the easiest to grab, squash, kick and mess with. * Exposing the old todger and bollocks reminds a man that he's definitely not invincible, and better not have tickets on himself.
• Maybe men have a sense of humour, and women do not. (Oowf! *Was that a kick in the balls I just felt?)

Favourite dick jokes? *Here are some that I like. *

• Drunk walks into a bar. *"I'll have a double vodka martini and a thimble of scotch" he slurrs. *"I understand the double martini, "asks the bartender, "but why do you want a thimble of scotch?". *
  By way of an answer, the drunk reaches into his bag, pulls out a miniature grand piano, followed by a small piano stool, a tiny candelabra, and finally, a man in a tuxedo, about a foot tall, who proceeds to play Moonlight and Roses
  "That's amazing!" gaped the astonished bartender. "Where did you get him?"
  "Well...I found an old, funny looking lamp. *I began to polish it when a genii appears. *He says he'll grant me one wish..." *The drunk sighs and turns to his martini. "...so I'd like to introduce you to my 12 inch pianist."
• Two friendly rivals were walking home after a night on the turps. *Crossing a bridge, the urge to piss becomes too great for both of them. *It's dark, so they drop their daks and gush into the river below.
  "Gee, that water's cold" boasts one. *
  "...and deep, too." replies the other. *
• I wish I could claim I thought of this on the spot, but it's actually one of the few lines ever to be censored from a Marx Bros. movie. *
  I was getting off a plane the other day, grabbing my stuff from various lockers and seat pockets. The (male) flight attendant asked me "Have you got everything?", to which I replied "Well, I've never had any complaints." *
  That earned a few chuckles from nearby passengers, though I'm not sure if it was because of the joke or merely the sight of two old queens flirting.
• Another Groucho joke. *He once had a female contestant with thirteen children on his quiz show. *When he asked her how she came to have such a family, she blushed and said "Oh, Groucho! *I just love my husband!" *Groucho replied, "I love my cigar, too, but I take it out once in a while."