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Originally Posted by Sixofspades  Totally. The logistics are only ever half the battle. You've got things like pressure to deal with as well - if you move somewhere to be with someone, they're not always going to take it well. They might say they want you to do it, but people can really change and resent you once you've done it, because they feel the burden of you being there solely because of them. There's other things too of course, like the practicalities with regards to culture shock, finding a place to live, getting around, showing your independence of your partner, etc. A lot of it is pure novelty - many people are attracted to the romance of the situation, and secretly enjoy the distance without thinking about how it will realistically go.
This is my personal experience with things like this but that's not to say it can't work out. I think mercurialbliss and no_strings are awesome for example, and I really hope they get everything to happen. I'm an embittered scrooge is all. |
You're right about the romantic scenario of falling in love with someone from across the nation or the ocean. Enjoying the distance can be true for some couples but I think I can safely say that's not the case with us. We communicate every day thanks to yahoo messenger and paltalk but seeing each other on cam and talking online isn't the same as being with each other in person and we crave that physical contact as well as the emotional and spiritual bond we created and nurtured online. It's also necessary to make plans to meet online at certain hours of the day since he's 5 hours ahead of me. I work odd hours at the moment so that makes my time more flexible.
My laptop has blown smoke more than once, my PC is on its last leg, i'm on my second webcam (don't buy webcams from Creative) and most of the time when i'm home, I resemble an air traffic controller with my headphones and mic firmly attached to my ears and mouth. My forced reliance on technology frustrates me at times, particularly when my PC crashes or yahoo or paltalk decides to hiccup at an inopportune time.
Communication requires time, planning, patience, and effort from both parties. Online romance is not for everyone. I would not recommend this to anyone who couldn't cope with spending large amounts of time online, isn't disciplined at planning future meetings, and prefers meeting people in the flesh before actually getting to know them. When love found me I was surprised to find how ready I was for that kind of intimacy. Cultivating that connection via long distance isn't easy but it's worth it when you find that special person.
