Greetings Earthlings, do not be alarmed I come in peace.
I crash landed on your planet 7 earth days ago and was soon rescued and taken to my temporary new home you call 'Area 51'. It is a very unusual place but the people seem to be friendly as I have been prodded and probed many times.
I have to stay here now until I can repair my ship. I need a
Lithium
Photon
Signal
Generator. I entered this information and Google sent me here.
I have communicated with some very interesting earthlings here and learnt much. I now understand that earthlings exist in at least 2 different genders.
I am 345 old/unsure about gender/from Quark 320. I am 720 tall and have a number of tentacles, which I am very proud of.
I have located the part I need to fix my ship (there is a second hand one on etebay). This will take about 30 of your earth days to arrive, so I will make more visits here before I can leave.
Until we meet again as we say on Quark 320 "ubiekervul" (take care) - AL