I'm having a hard time relating your new question to the rest of the thread. I feel like I'm right on the verge of seeing the connection... and then I lose it. So I'd like to answer your original question, if that's okay, MaleBonding.

One way I have found personal growth has been in learning to accept change. Change is among the hardest things to which to adjust. We must all learn to bend, or we learn where we break. Those are the only two choices.

I have also grown a lot in book stores. Where I see a need for improvement it is not difficult to find reading materials on the subject. I think the surest sign of love is forgiveness. I found that I was harboring a lot of pain from acts which I find unforgivable, by people which I refuse to forgive. I recently learned that I can accept those people, and what they did without forgiving them, without poisoning myself. I'm trying to get to that place, and it is definitely creating growing pains. But I came this far reading books. That's just an example.

I think, like others have pointed out, that the most growth has come from giving to others of myself.