Amount of men your girlfriends been with

That is a HUGE contradiction. A MASSIVE contradiction. You say numbers don't matter then go to the bother of creating an equation for what is OK. Do you realise how ridiculous that is?

That makes a lot more sense - so why the bolded comment above? If a 25 year old has been sexually active since age 17, has had 8 partners and gets tested then you're cool. But if someone of the same age and character has had 9 partners then there has been some kind of line crossed. That's what you're saying.

I've always seen you as far more realisitc and less prejudiced than that. Are you sure that's what you mean?

Most of the 20-22 year old girls I know have been with less than 5 guys, probably closer to 2-3 partners on average. I'm 22 and I've had two partners myself, both being long term relationships. I love sex, I'm just picky as hell who I have it with.

That being said, this thread is mildly disturbing.

The whole "how many guys/girls have you slept with" conversation has always seemed pointless to me. Too many people don't live by one of my personal mottos: Don't ask a question that you may not want the answer to.

I have never asked a guy this question (although they have sometimes volunteered the information, which is fine, but I just really don't care much) although a few guys have asked me. Interestingly, it's always been the guy who believes a dude with a lot of past partners is a "stud" and a chick with a lot of past partners is a "slut" - what a load of crap. What difference does it make what your GF has done in the past - it's not like she could undo it even if she wanted to.

Fortunately, my current BF and I discussed early on that the amount of past sexual relationships is irrelevant. But based on our conversations (and posts to this site!) we appear to have very similar sexual histories. We're both okay with that.

What we DO care about is how responsible has our partner been. Did they use condoms, were they tested regularly, etc. What's even MORE important - is this a good person?

My girlfriend was technically my first, and although she's had a few past sexual encounters, I don't really care. I agree that it doesn't really matter, I just get curious. Ofcourse I always take pride when she tells me I'm the best she's been with!

I hope nobody asks my b/f that question

I read somewhere that the average woman has 9 sexual partners in their lifetime.

I happen to know 3 girls who are 20 and under who have happened to have had 14+ partners already.

I was my wife's first when she was 19 and her only until she was 24. That's when she discovered the joys of being with guys like most of you and she has been with quite a few since then!! Some of her relationships with other guys were semi-long term (3 or 4 years) but many were much shorter in duration, including a few one night stands.

I've been known to have 14 in 8 days

this one kinky girl i wuz with told me she let one dude fuck her after she knew him for 3 days. thats a lil too kinky if u ask me haha

-----
-----

In all seriousness, there is a point where you have to say "How many is too many?" For instance, my sister had (at least) three guys she slept with in the month prior to getting pregnant. She ruled out the old friend from HS on timing (it had been too long); the guy she really like of the three failed the blood test; and she was left with the punk she hung out with who cheated on her with a 16yo so her mom had his 18yo ass thrown in jail for statutory rape.

You don't think my sister stopped and took stock of her life at that point? Accidentally getting pregnant was probably the best thing that ever happened to her, as it made her straighten her life up. Of course, since her baby-daddy was going to prison for a while, she hooked up with this other 18yo and he was essentially the only daddy my niece knew for years. She knows about her real father, but I do not know if they've ever actually met.


As for me, I knew my first gf had been active, but I never asked how many either time we dated. My second gf had a kid already, and I'm kind of glad she did, or I would have not known about her fiance' for a while longer. I met my third gf at work when she was still with her previous bf, but it didn't last too long with us.

As for my friend and his wife, I know she was his first and only (until I came along). I don't know about her pre-marital history, but I was told of an attempted rape a few years before we met when he was at work, that somehow later became an actual rape. I don't know the full story or why it changed, and never inquired further. I also didn't inquire if they did finally accomplish bringing her slut of a gf into their bed or not. (Her kids knew, her husband had to know, and most of their neighbors/friends knew about her wild, wanton ways.)

The only other guy I've been with at this point was married, too, and had a few gf's before. I insisted on protection and never asked for anything else.

I can't help but judge people by their past relationships. It's OK to explore and experiment and date different people. That's normal. I can't hold that against anyone. There is no set number that is too high. But if someone wanders aimlessly from one partner to the next I start to wonder about them. I also think it's questionable if someone stays with someone for 5-10 years or more and doesn't get married, especially if the sex wasn't great.

Now in practice I think men that have been with a lot of women want to settle down with the "good girl" that hasn't been with a lot of guys. And it is the same for many women. A lot of women are into the party scene when they are young and in shape. When they get older and a little less attractive, they are looking for the nice guy to settle down with. It somehow helps them forget their past. The same with guys, they want to have their cake and eat it too.

If I am with someone long-term I want to be able to talk about their life, and that's kind of hard to do without bringing up their past partners.