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Originally Posted by SpoiledPrincess  You asked for criticisms so I hope this will help, remember it's only my take on it. I felt you added a lot of details to the first section of the story that didn't add to the atmosphere of it, all you really needed to say was he was pissed off that he couldn't find any hotel rooms and had to take him back to his place. It's about the interaction of two people and I would have preferred you to get straight to that. You need to read through a story properly before submitting it to wherever you're sending it, I noticed a few grammatical errors (not tiny ones, quite glaring ones) and although some people say these don't matter I think anyone writing has to look on it as a performance, in which spelling, grammar, subject matter, have to be of a certain standard.
The resentment and anger the main character felt were handled well and once you got past the first part the pace was good.
I know no one else has mentioned specifics but I don't think a 'criticism' just saying well done is of any help. |
Nor do I. THANK YOU so much! It's remarkably helpful. I do have issues with pacing and I'll go over the grammar as well. You're quite right about getting right to it. Wordiness has always been an issue.
Pare and repair as they say.
I think what I'll do is conclude this story and then completely write and edit the next one before posting it. I've already posted the first chapter, before reading your post, and I may need to rewrite that as well. I find short story writing very difficult. Like a play it has to be kept concise and too frequently I let things get away from me.
My thanks again for your critique. I truly appreciate it
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