Straight before gay?

This is what is so great about this site, and so many just don't get.
People expressing their opionions and not getting hostile or shit.
Just SUPPORT, so many forget that word is part of this group.
Thanks for your honesty mr big.
DC

IMO, 100% gay and 100% straight happen quite a bit. However this site seems to attract many people who like both. Perhaps the subject matter on this site is conducive to the theory of sexual continuums.

I know many gay men in their 50's and 60's who never so much as kissed a woman and never will. Then again I know a few gay men of advanced years who were always gay but due to family and societal constraints they felt they had to "act straight" they married, had children, and divorced. I think that is more being in the closet than "being straight" They knew they were gay, they were just afraid to act on it openly.

I was engaged before I "realized" I was homosexual. We messed around quite a bit, but no intercourse. In fact, I don't even recall that I was looking forward to that; I certainly never pressured her for it.

We broke up while I still thought I was straight. I graduated from college about a year later and took a job around Dupont Circle in Washington, DC and suddenly I felt like the ugly duckling had realized he was a swan. Finally, ads on TV made sense and things just started to "click".

Since that time I haven't had another relationship with a woman, but some wonderful, deep relationships with guys. Still, there is a part of me that acknowledges that my sexuality is still a spectrum and may be a few women for whom I would drop guys for forever. If Catherine Deneuve or Belinda Carlisle ever challenged me to go straight, they'd win hands down.

I lived with a much older woamn when I was in my early 20's. It was a great relationship at that time in my life. She had children who I absolutely adored.

Just after that when we had split up I met my soul mate who I am currently arranging a wedding with. We are soo happy and conteted. He's a guy.

Just this week the kids from that relationship 25 years ago have got in touch and wished us both well. They still have a lot of sincere feelings for me. They even want to come to our wedding. It will be an honour to have them there.

The moral of my story? Sexuality is fluid and people are endemically good. Life is good and precious so enjoy every day. Be good to those around you and it will all come back to you in the form of happiness. You never know who you will fall in love with. It could be anyone.

More importantly treat people well.

That is really sweet Davey. What a story!

I second that emotion!

Yeah, I'm gonna say that's me. Never even kissed a girl - just don't see the appeal.

Before I decided I was gay, I had a relationship with a young woman for 6 months. The sex was great. It was better than any sex i've had with a guy.

Regardless, I still identify as gay.

dc9, DaveyR and Corius...I love how all of you think. You sound like people I would like to have as friends.

Hear, hear!
And congratulations!

Thanks. You sound like you would make a good friend too.

My first sexual experiences were with women. I knew deep in my heart and soul I wanted men but there were some very hot experiences I had with women over the years. I love sex with men and with women. Its just so different. Its interesting that some of you remarked that some older men did the whole get married have kids thing and then later in life divorced and came out of the closet. I can understand what they went thru, our society doesnt make it very easy for us to feel that its ok to be attracted too and want to have sex with men. I feel lucky that I have the chance to experience both and, "at least in this environment on LPSG", it doesnt matter where you find your sexual interests!!

I can relate to that!

Care to "flesh out" how you view the differences?

Though I knew I had an attraction to guys from a very early age, I also had a strong attraction to girls. Most of my playmates were girls...and we did the normal play-period innuendo in 1st and 2nd grade...like "drink my lemonade" and "my hot hot dog" in "her bun" etc. I showed girls mine if they showed me theirs...played doctor, flirted...just like here. I remember drawing porn with crayons...primarily they were of naked guys though.

Once I grew to a teenager, I knew other guys were dating girls, and I felt pressure to do the same. I just didn't have the same motivation (I assume) as they did. In high school, all my buddies lost their virginity, and I found out about it dramatically one night during study hall, when my best girl friend revealed to me that everyone I hung out with had lost their virginity (except me!). My best friend lost his (without telling me), and even my gay room mate lost his in the music practice rooms! From my perspective, everyone in my clique paired up, and I felt like to odd man out. I graduated from high school with my virginity grudgingly intact.

In college, I was a misfit. I'm sort of embarassed to say I dated just one girl in college. She was in love with some dude in Norfolk and wouldnt have sex with me. We did other things, and I was grateful to get that. After college, my path crossed an older woman, still married but separated. She was sexually aggressive, and I lost my virginity to her (and was glad to get rid if it at the age of 24!). She dumped me for a guy with an insatiable sex drive. After her, I dated a few more girls, but my unwillingness to commit - and not to "use" anyone led to a pretty sexless life. Then I built up the courage to hook up with a guy, and have only dated one woman since then (and that ended pretty disasterously).

I enjoy my relationships with women. I recognize that I continue to grow up...and my confidence and interests grows and evolves too. At this point in my life, I'm probably more open to being with a woman sexually than I have been in a long time - what percentage of my sexuality that is - I have no clue. Lots of other factors come into play, I'm not a kid anymore and I have more life perspective. I really like being a man with a woman...but its also nice to be a guy with another guy. Each side has strengths and weaknesses, but I would hate to ever say never about anything.